I have been following the infertility journeys of quite a few amazing ladies in the past year or so, through their blogs, or through a forum that I participate in or through knowing them personally. What is amazing is that, among the 9 of us who had IVF in the last 2.5 months, 7 of us are pregnant! Some had a successful first cycle, while some have gone through quite a lot before they finally got the amazing news, and I have followed their heartache for what felt like ages. But I am so happy with this outcome for each and every one of us. There must be something in the air. Or there must really be strength in prayers. But finally the patience and hope that we refused to give up have finally brought us to the place we all had been dreaming for so long! I know the journey ahead for us is long. But I am excited about sharing the journey with so many inspiring ladies...

Personally, the wait for our first ultrasound is still killing me. Lack of pregnancy symptoms do not help either. I still have sore boobs, but they are slowly disappearing since I stopped crinone last week. I have been taking a nap during the day or early evenings, but its not something that I couldn't do without.

But in the positive side, I am loving the chats I have started having with the baby before going to sleep, or during  the day. We went for an impromptu visit to a friend 3.5 hours drive away on Friday evening, because we heard it was snowing there. We saw the snow fall on our way, and since it was the first snow fall experience for my husband, my 9-year old nephew, and my brother-in-law, it was quite exciting. It didn't snow much during the night and so on Saturday, we made the best of little snow that remained on the mountain nearby, which my nephew loved anyway. Throughout the trip, and the walk in the thin snow, I was imagining a similar experience with my own child not too far in the future, and it was such a peaceful thought. I can't wait to meet him or her already. First, at the ultrasound next Monday. Till then, I just need to bring back the patience I thought I learnt during this IF journey.

Sorry that I had been out of action for a few days. I caught a nasty flu being passed around in my house, and was completely bedridden and miserable. Good news is that I'm much better now, though still resting.

Even better news is that the beta tripled in the 48 hour test that I did last Saturday. No extraordinary numbers, just enough to keep my spirits high. And I am happy with that. I do use some pee sticks from time to time as a little assurance boost (they are appearing quickly and are dark now). But I've decided not to do any more blood tests. The first US has been booked for 11th August (which is too far!) and we'll just wait for that.

Of course I haven't been all calm and cool. I've been worried about how sick I was with flu. Was I making myself too hot? Was my lack of sleep causing unnecessary risks? Was the weight I lost a bad thing? So many other questions. Only time will tell. I can only do my best to try to recover quickly (all with just home remedies) and pray for the best. I reckon there's going to be a lot of worry and prayers from now on for the little one. For years. But I am also looking forward to the wonderful feelings to savor. I'm already loving the being pregnant feeling, although I have no obvious symptoms yet!

Update: The HCG result this evening was 64. I have no idea if this is too low for me to be worried. For now, I'm keeping everything crossed that the lines get darker soon so that I can breathe a little easier. 

So I gave in just 1 day before the OTD (at 8pm!), and convinced my husband that if its a positive, it'll show in the HPT by then.  So at 10dp5dt, I got my very first two lines in the HPT! I used FRER, as I knew that the ones given by my clinic is not that sensitive. It was not FMU though of course. We were very cautiously excited though, because the second line was lot lighter than the control line.
This morning, the two HPTs from the clinic showed very very faint lines but it was there. But the FRER looked lighter than the night before, so I completely flipped out. I have gone to the doc for a BT, and will know the results in about 6 hours. Till then, I am reading similar stories in the web, and seesawing between 'its all doomed' mood to 'there's still tons of hope, why am I giving up so easily' thoughts. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers people, cause I think I am losing it...

Not much update for me, just waiting until this Thursday to POAS. Keeping my fingers crossed and prayers flowing. Progesterone 'shots' are helping to keep AF at bay, but occasional AF scares are still keeping me awake and worried. Thursday can't come soon enough for me...

In the non-IVF front, we went to a dinner at my husband's friend's place over the weekend. The friend's brother was also there, and during other random conversation about kids, he asked us (quite loudly mind you) if it wasn't time for us to have children? We tried to laugh and shrug it off. But he continued to ask my husband individually so that everyone could hear. My husband just replied with a "Yes", but this person was not satisfied. He turned to me and asked me, "Am I not right, what do you think? Isn't it time?" I gave him the worst brush off laugh that I never imagined I possessed, which was followed with some awkward silence. All of them probably assumed from my laugh, that my husband wanted a child, desperately even, while I didn't. It ruined the mood for me for the evening.  It's none of his business. If it was two three years earlier, I would be patient enough to forgive him for asking once, but even then, I would have still been irritated with him keeping on asking again an again until he got a satisfactory answer! At this point in time, I just couldn't bear it. I can never understand why people can be so tactless! It's probably the culture of our country that makes such question a gesture of 'caring', but after living in Australia for so long, it was just out of place for him. I really hope that when I make a trip back home at the end of the year, I'll have positive news so that I don't have to produce any more awkward laughs. If a 'not so close' friend's brother could make me so uncomfortable, I'm sure there will be so many other 'caring' relatives there who would make me want to burst otherwise.

Yesterday morning, I thought I was going to be slightly late for the Embryo Transfer appointment, so I at first thought of not wearing any makeup at all (not that I wear much makeup, mind you). Then I thought, today might be the first day I met my first son/daughter! So I slapped on a simplistic rather hurried makeup on :)

I had been suggested to bring a comfortably full bladder. Its hard to decide how much makes you comfortably full, as you can only gauge the comfort label closer to the ET rather than when you drink the water. It is always a race against my willpower at the ET itself. We had the lovely Dr who did our first transfer, who is rather through and likes to talk to make us feel comfortable. However, I was in no mood to talk. I wanted it to be over so that I could rush to the toilet. Can't believe that after all the wait, all I could think at the ET was hope it is over soon!

The good news is that the embryo that we had transferred was of good quality. The embryologist said hatching Grade B. I am not sure how a hatching embryo could be anything but grade A, but I don't understand my clinic's grading, so I am not going to worry about it. I was happy with the word 'hatching'. We also had two to freeze. Absolutely awesome!

So now the TWW begins, and all the mental exercise it automatically brings with it. I'll have to try to steer it to the direction that is best for all of us around and inside me :)