New hopes

Sooo...I'm in the bandwagon again.

We had one frozen embryo left from last cycle.

We had been trying for a second baby since baby D turned 6 months. Desparate I know, but we knew it wasn't going to happen right away (but that didn't stop me from daydreaming, mind you). At the beginning, it was a no pressure kind of thing. Then we stopped a bit when baby D had to go on a hip harness due to DHD. It's genetic, so I was really scared that I'd pass it to our second child since I had hip dysplasia myself at newborn stage. But D coped well, and luckily was out of her harness soon, and slowly the dreams came back.

Then suddenly one day, I realised that if I didn't get pregnant soonish, I will be over 40 if and when I give birth again. So I panicked! Unfortunately or fortunately, my husband was the opposite- calm and sensible. We discussed how we were already blessed with D in our lives, and so didn't want to rush into FET. Also, no more IVF after the FET too. So we said we will try naturally while enjoying seeing  baby D grow each day. And on Nov, we will do our last ever assisted cycle.

So here we are. 11/11, 11am was the appointment for the transfer of our 5d blastocyst - poor bugger with the pressure that its either him, or no one else. I've been on progesterone pessaries since the day of the transfer, so the tiredness and queasiness I feel right now is probably due to that, or maybe even due to the cold I caught that doesn't seem to want to go away. But every moment I am free, I am obsessing, and then feeling guilty that I may ginx things. Guilt at every step for not eating healthy, sleeping enough, or drinking enough water, or lifting baby D up, or not doing enough excercise, or worrying that cleaning the house was too labour intensive...and the list goes on....

I told myself this evening though. Why should I not obsess? This is probably the last time ever that I would be PUPO...ever!! So, dr google, here I come with questions like "BFP how many days after 5dp5dt" and "FET symptoms" and so on and so forth. Please try to give me answers that will still keep me a little bit sane!


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