Looking back at my posts, I see a lot of negativity in all of them. Its true that life felt like shit for a large part of 2014, but there were some highs. The relationship with my husband grew a lot stronger, and that warms my heart very much. I also had a chance to feel how its like to be pregnant, no matter how short it was. I'll always miss my little angel baby, and my tears haven't stopped flowing each time I remember the little heartbeat I heard once, but she has given me hope, and certainty that I want to be a mom. My family and friends who try so hard to support me and not say anything that would hurt me, they have been brilliant. And believe it or not, it feels great to be back at work again.

I'm writing this today, not because my period is just a tinsy wincy bit late and I am hopeful, but because I had been meaning to write this since I reread my last post early last week. I am heading back home, and writing this from the plane somewhere above Brussels (to be published later). The sunset, and the fluffy clouds below calming me right down. It's a bit sad that I'll miss being home for Christmas, but we decided that at our home, we'll celebrate Christmas on boxing day this year, just so that I can be a part of it, so I'm looking forward to it. I was busy with work all week, but took some time to make some elaborate meal plans from the hotel last weekend and my family already has things bought and ready to go for the 26th. I know it'll be very tiring as I land after 26 hour journey, but I think I'll enjoy it anyway. So I'll suck it up and say goodbye to 2014 nicely. Hopefully she'll have (more) great memories for me in these last few days.