Two lines

Since I am posting today, I think I need to come clean too. Hence this separate post from the one about earthquake before.

Yes, I got positive pregnancy result for my last cycle. I'm just into my 6th week now. I didn't write about it before, as I was terribly scared of this pregnancy, since this is the first one after my miscarriage last year. I got a little bit of relief as the betas were lot stronger than last time - 228 on 10dp5dt, and 815 on 13dp5dt. But I was still afraid to share, as I thought I would somehow jinx it. Then I stressed about bringing the progesterone pessaries on the 26 hour flight  with me as they had to be kept cold (was an OK experience btw), stressed about having to work hard, and not getting to eat on time time while I'm at customer site, and worried about million things more.

Fast forward to the end of first week at customer site, all work load and food was fine, but I think I ended up having bad luck anyway. I only had sore boobs as a symptom, and that started fading, so I freaked out and POASed on Friday morning. Unfortunately, the lines are getting lighter since Friday. This is not looking good at all. I am trying to stay positive, but I feel the doom and gloom already repeat itself. The two lines that started painting new dreams have started fading, and so are the dreams now.

So I started the weekend crying for my little poppy, and ended up crying the whole weekend for my little baby, for my old parents's suffering alone in Nepal, for my 'adopted' girl in Nepal (through Plan Australia) who I know I will not get any updates about for ages, and for my beautiful country which has been shaken up so much. If I never have such a weekend again, I will not complain. Its going to be long two weeks here. I am due for the first scan on 11th when I get back, but its too far away, and may be just too late.

1 comment :

  1. Oh, hon.. This was such lovely and encouraging news when I read the first few lines of your post. I really, really pray that the lines will start getting darker again and that all will be well. I'm so sorry that it has to be such a roller coaster ride for you. xxx